Too Fast for Love
by rachhudson
Summary: He doesn't tell her that he can't be, because he never really stopped loving her. He should, but he doesn't. He's holding himself back, and he doesn't even know why anymore.


**I put a lot of work into this. It's kind of like my baby. It took me two weeks to write, including my computer deleting one thousand words I had to rewrite. So I hope you enjoy it. (:**

**Also I swear I haven't forgotten about Swallowed in the Sea - it's on my list of things to do I swear.  
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* * *

><p>"<em>All we are is too fast for love<br>We're too young  
>I'd hate to love you<br>The night's gone  
>I'll be gone too<br>But you can't be missed  
>If you never go away"<br>_

* * *

><p><strong>Too Fast for Love<strong>

i.

"Listen carefully, because I mean every word of it."

He blinks and then she turns around and leaves, not throwing as much as a backwards glance at him.

_She didn't say it. _He expected her to say it, honestly. He said, "break a leg," and she was supposed to say, _"I love you_." He knows she broke his heart and he's with Quinn and he's probably breaking hers but it's not even supposed to matter because she was supposed to say it. And she didn't.

"Finn?" Mr. Schue asks, touching Finn lightly on the shoulder.

"Hmm?" He looks over at him.

"Rachel's about to start."

Finn nods and follows Mr. Schue to stand over off stage. And as Rachel begins to sing, Finn listens, _really listens_, because, well, she told him to, didn't she? And he feels like he finally _gets_ it.

He watches her and he wonders how she could ever think she's not good enough. She's _too good_, really. She glances over at him and he gives her this little half smile and he knows in his heart that she still has this ability to make him feel so much for her, just with the power of her voice.

He misses her, this Rachel Berry. He wonders when he really lost her.

"Wish me luck," Quinn whispers, her fingers brushing his as she follows Santana out onto the stage.

He doesn't. He's too busy trying to figure out how he can possibly sort out these unresolved feelings for the girl bearing her soul on the stage.

* * *

><p>ii.<p>

Finn feels terrible. He swears he didn't mean to hit Rachel in the nose – it just _happened_ – and so he drove her to the doctor. He's been pacing back and forth for fifteen minutes.

"You really don't have to be here," Rachel says quietly for the fifteenth time.

"No, I do," Finn tells her quickly. "I feel _terrible_, Rach. I mean, your nose is all… swollen. And purple. And I did that and _God_, I am _so _sorry."

"It's not your fault," she murmurs. "It's probably broken, though."

"It's not broken," he tells her, mainly because he hopes that if he says it enough times it will have to be true.

"You really don't need to stay," she whispers again.

He sighs. "Look, Rachel, I'm staying. I'm not gonna let you go through this alone, okay?"

She doesn't say anything, just keeps holding the icepack to her nose and staring at the ground.

She looks so broken, and he can't help but feel it's his fault, and not just because he whacked her in the nose with his sporadic dance moves. He feels like he cracked her a while ago, and the damage is only beginning to show.

He hates himself for it.

* * *

><p>iii.<p>

He stares down at the copy of the picture in his hands that Rachel has circulated around the room, the one with Quinn's nose in the center of her face instead of her own. His _girlfriend's _nose.

Rachel babbles on about how great it will be for her once she has the procedure and no one breaks the awkward silence that falls when she's done speaking. Finn can't believe this. Can't they see what a _mistake _she's making?

"Rachel, please don't do this." The words spill out of his mouth, and every head turns to him, but he doesn't even care because all he cares about right now is Rachel and making her see how lovely she is. "You're _beautiful_."

He senses Quinn shift uncomfortably beside him, but he doesn't even glance at her. This is about Rachel right now.

She takes in a shaky breath and tells him it's her decision. And he wants to cry. How can she think of altering herself like that? Doesn't she see how beautiful she is – how, to him, she's perfect?

She lowers her eyes to the ground as Quinn pats his arm and he realizes that she probably doesn't. And that kills him.

* * *

><p>iv.<p>

Yeah, Finn agreed to go on this stakeout with Rachel. And it feels good, hanging out with her again. She's even listening to him vent about Quinn without being all judgmental and stuff. It's kind of nice.

He realizes that he's missed his best friend, because, before anything, that's what Rachel was.

"I never understood why you got back with her," Rachel says quietly. He can see her looking at him from the corner of his eye as he lowers the camera. "If you can't even trust her."

He knows he should defend Quinn and their relationship because they just have something special, don't they? But Rachel's words ignite this seed of doubt within him, and suddenly he _can't_ remember why he wanted Quinn again in the first place.

"I don't know," he replies quietly.

"I do," she says sadly, lowering her gaze. "Because you'd forgive your first love anything."

Finn glances at her, his heart beating really quickly because he knows she means _him _and _them_ and even though he's hurt her so badly and he keeps on hurting her, she still cares. She still puts herself out there every time, gives him her heart just so he can stomp on it.

And then he stops to think for a second. She's talking about him and _Quinn_. But how can Quinn be his first love when what he's felt (maybe even still _feeling_) for Rachel is so much stronger than his feelings for her?

He hears a door slam and Rachel gasp. He turns around to see his girlfriend coming out of Sam's motel room. He sees his _girlfriend _hug the guy she cheated on – with Finn.

He clenches his jaw. He should have known that things with Quinn were too good to be true.

He feels Rachel pat his arm comfortingly. How could he be so stupid? Why would Quinn actually change her ways?

Once again, Quinn Fabray has made him feel like an idiot. He tells Rachel this.

"You're not an idiot," she tells him quietly. "No matter what she – or anyone else – says, you're not, Finn Hudson."

He shrugs because he doesn't believe her. He thinks she can sense that, but she doesn't say anything.

Fuck Sam and fuck Quinn. Fuck it _all_.

* * *

><p>v.<p>

"We were _so_ wrong," Rachel says quietly as she shuts the door behind them. She wipes at her eyes, sniffing. Finn doesn't blame her; seeing Sam in that motel room with his siblings was pretty emotional.

Finn pats her on the shoulder. "I know, but hopefully things'll get better."

She looks up at him, her eyes rimmed red. "But what if they don't? What if Sam's family has to stay there forever? What if he can't go to college because he has to stay and take care of his siblings? Will he even be able to go to New York and leave them here unattended?"

"Hey," he says gently, pulling her to him and rubbing her back soothingly. He hasn't hugged her in what seems like forever, and he remembers how perfectly her tiny frame fits in his arms. "It'll be okay, Rach."

She doesn't say anything for a second, then she pulls away. "Like everything was going to be okay with us?" she asks quietly.

"I don't know what to say to that," he answers honestly, because part of him wants to tell her that he believes they _will _be okay someday, but there's still Quinn and he doesn't want to play with her emotions or anything.

"You don't have to say anything," she mutters, walking back to his truck. "Can you… please just take me home?"

He nods, following her, feeling slightly numb. He wants to fix things with her so _badly_, but he also doesn't want to hurt Quinn. There's _something _there. He just can't define what, exactly.

He climbs into the truck and glances over at Rachel. She's studying him with sad eyes. "It's okay, Finn," she says quietly. "You love her, and that's okay."

He looks away, swallowing the lump that forms in his throat. "I don't…" he whispers. "I'm not in love with her, I don't think."

He sees the corner of Rachel's mouth twitch, but she whispers, "You will be."

He doesn't tell her that he _can't _be, because he never really stopped loving her. He should, but he doesn't.

He's holding himself back, and he doesn't even know why anymore.

* * *

><p>vi.<p>

He sees Rachel talking to Sam in the hallway and he doesn't know why, but it just _bothers _him. He knows that she and Sam are friends, and he feels for the guy with his family situation and all, but still, he's leaning against her locker and staring intently at her and it just _irks _him. So he goes over and stands beside them.

"How's it going?" he asks, a subconscious edge to his voice.

Sam raises an eyebrow. "Oh, nothing, just finalizing prom plans with Rachel."

Finn sees red and he feels his fingers clenching into fists. Rachel can't go to prom with Sam, she can't, she _can't, she can't_.

"Um, I'll text you about it later, okay?" Sam says to Rachel.

Once he's gone, Rachel turns to Finn, her eyes blazing. "What is _with _you, Finn Hudson?"

"You're going to prom with _Evans_?" he sputters.

"Not exactly," she says evenly. "But it shouldn't _matter _to _you_ anyways. You're going with Quinn. Why do you care about who I go with?"

_Because I love you._ The words are on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows them before they can escape. "What do you mean, 'not exactly'?" he asks instead, sidestepping her question.

"I'm going in a group," she says, folding her arms. "It's going to be me, Kurt, Blaine, Jesse, Mercedes, and Sam."

"Oh," he says, relief flooding through him. At least she wasn't going with – wait. "Did you say just say Jesse? As in St. James?"

She shrugs. "Maybe."

"No. There's no 'maybe.' Are you or are you not attending prom with Jesse St. James?" This is _way _worse than her going with Sam.

"Really, Finn, we're going in a _group_—"

"He _egged_ you, Rachel! He broke you, and I was left to pick up the pieces!"

She glares at him. "You think I don't remember that, Finn? Because I do. And I'm not taking Jesse back, but even if I were, it would be _none of your business_. If I recall correctly, you broke me first, and _he _had to pick up the pieces."

Finn feels like her words are shards of glass, cutting his skin. "Rach, I—"

"No, Finn," she breaks in. "I'm done with this conversation. I'm going to prom and Jesse will be there and I'm going to have a good time, regardless of your desire to _ruin _this for me."

She turns on her heel and storms away then, leaving Finn slack jawed in her wake. And then it hits him, why he can't break up with Quinn, why he can't tell Rachel that he still loves her – that he never stopped, really: She deserves so much better than him. He's hurt her time and time again, and he doesn't deserve her. He needs to let her move on, let her have the chance to be happy, even if it means he stays here, trapped in this suffocating town.

He knows she'll make it out. She _has _to. But does she really have to go to prom with St. James to do it?

* * *

><p>vii.<p>

He wakes up the Saturday morning of prom with a feeling of dread. He really wants nothing more than to go back to sleep. Just as soon as he's made the decision to do so – because if he's lucky, he'll sleep through the whole fiasco – Kurt bursts into his room, singing loudly.

"It's prom day, Finn Hudson! Get your bed out of bed! There's so much to do!"

He glares at Kurt, then at his alarm clock. "It's eight in the morning. What can I possibly have to do this early?"

Kurt's eyes widen. "Finn, really? You have to pick up the tux and the corsage, double check with the limo company, let Carole get all of her pictures, go over to Quinn's for _more _pictures—"

"Okay, okay," Finn groans, cutting Kurt off. "I get it."

Kurt rolls his eyes and sighs. "I'll leave you now, but if I come back in five minutes and you've gone back to sleep, I will call Quinn, and then she can deal with you." He exits, and Finn groans, flopping back against his pillows. Is today over yet?

He's over at Quinn's house by three after picking up his tux. Her mom takes a billion pictures of him and Quinn, and she keeps telling Finn to smile like he means it, but he can't bring himself to get excited. Everything about this seems wrong. He just feels empty.

Quinn keeps glaring at him in between poses and hissing, "Can't you at least look happy?"

He ignores her. He's getting pretty good at that.

Santana and Karofsky show up at five and they take even more pictures before finally heading to Breadstix at six. Quinn keeps flashing Santana these fake smiles, and Finn wonders why she invited them to eat with them. He figures she's probably trying to win them over for votes even though they're running against them. It's a very Quinn thing to do.

Quinn rambles on about what she'll say in her prom queen acceptance speech while Santana rolls her eyes and scoffs. "But it's inevitable that Finn and I will win," Quinn insists in this falsely sweet voice that makes Finn think of nails on a chalkboard. "It's cute that you guys are running though, really. Very sweet of you."

Santana shoots Quinn a look that could kill, and Finn glances over at Karofsky. He looks as uncomfortable as Finn feels.

Finally, the meal ends. And they pile in the limo to head to the school.

Finn thinks he's going to be sick.

* * *

><p>viii.<p>

Rachel looks beautiful. She's wearing this floaty pink dress that cuts off at her knee and even though she walked in with Jesse St. Jackass and Sam, she looks really happy. He can't help but smile as he watches her twirl around the dance floor with Mercedes as Blaine is singing some song on the stage. (How is that allowed, anyway? He doesn't even _go _here.)

"Finn, we need to do one last sweep of the gym to gain some final votes. Voting ends in a half hour."

He rolls his eyes, turning to Quinn. "Honestly, I don't care if we win either way."

Her eyes narrow dangerously. "_Excuse _me?"

A red light goes off in his brain, an imaginary siren wailing _scary Quinn scary Quinn_, but he holds his ground. "You go if you want," he tells her. "I'm… gonna go talk to Sam."

And with that, he heads across the gym, over to where Rachel, Sam, and Mercedes are conferring.

"Hey," Finn says, and it's only when he's reached them does he realize he actually has no plan on what to say whatsoever.

"Hello," Rachel says cautiously.

"You look really beautiful."

Her eyes widen, but she says, "Thank you, Finn. You look quite handsome yourself."

He's about to ask her if she'd like to dance when he hears a scoff from behind him. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Hudson. Shouldn't you be campaigning for prom king instead of fraternizing with my date?"

Rachel sighs. "Jesse, please. There's no need for that. And I'm not your date."

Finn eyes Jesse warily. "Why are you even here?"

"Unfinished business," he says, smirking over at Rachel.

"Like hell," Finn growls.

Jesse raises his eyebrows. "What's this? Is that _jealousy _I detect? But aren't you here with Barbie, you know, your _girlfriend_?"

"Please, Jesse, just drop it, he doesn't mean anything like that—"

Finn clenches his fist, ignoring Rachel. "You don't deserve Rachel's forgiveness. I don't know how you earned it, but you sure as hell aren't good enough for her."

Jesse laughs, actually laughs. It makes Finn's blood boil. God, he forgot how much he _hated _this asshole. "What, and you are?" he asks.

"No," Finn admits, and he sees Rachel's eyes widen out of the corner of his eye. "She deserves the best, and that's not me. But it's not you, either. You broke her heart."

"And so did you. She trusted you, she counted on you, and you _discarded _her, tossed her aside like she didn't matter, Hudson. If anyone doesn't deserve her, it's _you_."

And that's when Finn punches him in the face. Blood spurts out of Jesse's nose, Rachel starts screaming hysterically, Sam grabs him as he goes in for another swing.

The next thing Finn knows, he's being escorted out of the gym along with St. Jackass by Ms. Sylvester.

He sees Quinn's mortified face as he's shuffled past her, the anger in her eyes as she calls out, "That's my _prom date_! Finn, you can't _leave_!"

He really wonders how she can think he has a choice in this.

"You two are both to leave school grounds," Ms. Sylvester tells them. "Fighting at the prom…" She shakes her head. "Can't say I expected anything less from you two mangy glee clubbers."

Finn looks over at Jesse, the dried blood still on his face, and he feels a surge of satisfaction.

"You got in a lucky shot, Hudson," Jesse spits out before heading off to the parking lot.

Finn smirks. He regrets nothing. He could head home and hear from Kurt the prom results, but he has a better idea. He heads in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>ix.<p>

He's been sitting on Rachel Berry's porch for two hours before she shows up. She gets out of Sam's car, tells Sam goodbye, and then heads up the sidewalk. She stops when she sees him. Her hand flies up to cover her cheek.

"What are you doing here?" she sputters.

"I didn't expect you for another hour," he admits, standing up, hands in his pockets. He makes his way down the steps, stopping right in front her, frowning. She still hasn't lowered her hand.

"Yeah, well, I – I left early."

He reaches up to grab her hand gently, lowering it from her cheek. A soft gasp escapes his lips as he sees the swollen, red skin. "Rachel, who did this to you?"

"It's nothing," she whispers, lowering her eyes.

"It's not nothing," he insists.

She doesn't answer.

"Rachel, please, tell me. I – I need to know who hurt you in order to kick their ass."

She cracks a small smile. "I doubt you'd kick her ass." Her eyes widen as she realizes her slip.

"Quinn," Finn mutters darkly, brushing his fingers lightly over the irritated skin.

"She blames her losing prom queen on me," Rachel whispers.

"How does she figure that one?" Finn asks.

"You got kicked out of prom because of me."

"Because of Jesse," he amends.

She raises an eyebrow. "Okay, partially because of you."

"Why though?" she asks quietly. "Why fight over me?"

He swallows, then just decides to tell her the truth – the whole truth. "Because I care about you, Rachel. I always have, and I always will."

She smiles lightly at him. "I'm sorry you got kicked out of prom."

"I'm not," he says quickly. "I mean, there's always next year. And… and maybe, next year, I'll take the right girl."

Rachel looks at him, confusion etched on her face. "But… Quinn…"

"Do you think I'd honestly still stay with her after she did this to you?" he asks. "You mean more to me than she ever has, Rach. I think that, deep down, Quinn knows that. And it scares her."

Rachel bites her lip. "Do you mean that, Finn?"

He nods. "I really do, Rach." She smiles at him, and he smiles back. "I do have one regret about tonight, though."

"What's that?" she asks.

"I didn't get to dance with you."

She ducks her head, then murmurs, "Who says you still can't?" She looks up at him through her eyelashes and he grins, grabbing her hands and placing them around his neck. He moves his own to her waist.

They sway back in forth in her front yard, and there may not be any music, but Finn can't imagine anything more perfect.

* * *

><p>x.<p>

Rachel leans her head on Finn's shoulder as they sit on the steps of her porch.

"I've missed this," Finn admits, placing his hand gently on her knee.

"Me, too," she whispers quietly.

"Do you think… we'll be able to have that again?" he asks.

She sighs. "One day, maybe. But not yet."

His heart sinks. "Not yet?"

She lifts her head up, looking at him. "I'm sorry, Finn, but I can't just dive into this with you again. Who's to say you won't be tempted by Quinn again? I'm not ruling us out forever," she adds as he opens his mouth to protest. "I just need to wait a while, until I'm sure you won't break my heart again."

"Rach, I—"

"I just need time," she cuts him off. "And I need you to understand that."

He swallows and nods. "'Course, Rach."

She smiles. "Good."

"But that doesn't mean that I won't be fighting for you."

"You say that now, but you're still with Quinn," she points out.

"And I won't be for much longer, after what she did," he vows. "And then I'm going to prove to you that the only person for me is you."

"I hope you do," she murmurs.

He knows he will. He's come too far to lose Rachel Berry again.

* * *

><p>xi.<p>

"How was prom?" His mom asks the next morning.

Finn shrugs. "Didn't see much of it, I guess. I got kicked out."

"What? Why?"

"I, uh… I may have punched Jesse St. James in the face."

Carole gasps. "Rachel's ex-boyfriend?"

Finn finds himself telling his mother the whole story: His somewhat one-sided bout with Jesse, being escorted out, heading over to Rachel's, the slow dance in the front yard, the talk he had with her on her front porch.

"And what does Quinn think of all this?" Carole asks carefully.

"She's probably pissed," Finn answers honestly. "But I don't even really care, Mom. I know that makes me a bad boyfriend, but she just wanted prom queen. And then when she didn't get it, she tried to take out Rachel. I'm done with her crazy."

Carole nods slowly. "I'm proud of you, Finn."

He smiles. "Hey, Mom? If I was going to try to win Rachel over, how should I do that? I mean, she knows how I feel about her, but she's still scared. So how would I go about proving to her that she's the one I want to be with?"

"What's this I hear about wooing Rachel?" Kurt asks as he walks into the kitchen.

"Nothing," Finn says quickly.

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I was standing outside the door the whole time, Finn. I heard the whole story."

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because I was _hoping _you'd want my help," Kurt says, sounding irritated.

Finn sighs. "Alright, Kurt, what are your ideas?"

Kurt pulls out a chair, sitting down. "It's about time you asked. I've been dying to try and get you guys back together for _weeks_."

"Ideas, Kurt," Finn reiterates.

His mom smiles at him, and Finn smiles back as Kurt dives into this elaborate plan. He thinks things might just be turning around.

* * *

><p>xii.<p>

"You can't be serious," Quinn says flatly. "_You're _the one who gets yourself _ejected _out of prom, ruining my night, and _you're _the one breaking up with _me_?"

Finn nods. "Yep."

"Unbelievable," she mutters. "But I guess it's not entirely unexpected."

"It shouldn't be," he tells her. "I still love Rachel."

She sighs. "I figured you might."

Silence.

"So this is it?" she asks.

"This is it," he confirms.

She nods and starts to walk away, then stops. "We could have had it all, you know," she offers, turning back to face him.

He shakes his head. "No, not really."

She shrugs. "See you around, Finn."

She walks away, and he can't say he's sad to see her go. He feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. He finally feels like he can breathe again.

* * *

><p>xiii.<p>

He manages to convince Mercedes to switch seats with him so that he's sitting next to Rachel on the one and a half hour plane ride to New York.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," she says as he sits down next to her.

He smirks. "I don't know what you're talking about."

She rolls her eyes.

"When do you think the flight attendant will be around with the food cart?" Finn asks. "I'm _starving_."

Rachel laughs. "It's only an hour and a half flight, Finn. You'll be lucky if she brings you peanuts."

Finn feels his stomach growl and he looks down with a frown.

Rachel sighs and digs into her purse, pulling out a plastic Ziploc baggie.

"Are those… Bugles?" he asks.

She nods. "Luckily I came prepared."

"You know, Rach," he says, dipping his hand into the bag, "you really are awesome."

She blushes and hands him the bag. "Here, I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?" he asks, frowning. "I mean, I'll feel bad eating these if you don't eat them with me."

She shakes her head. "No, it's fine." She turns and starts leaving through her purse again, and he swear he hears her mutter, "I brought them for you anyway," but he can't be sure, and he doesn't ask her because she jams her ipod headphones in her ears and turns to stare out the window without another word.

He stares down at the Bugles and then back at her. "I love you," he whispers.

He knows she can't hear him, but it feels good to say it anyway.

* * *

><p>xiv.<p>

"So, looks like we're roomies," Puck notes, thumping his suitcase onto the bed closest to the door.

Finn nods.

"The hell's up with you?"

Finn sighs, looking up at Puck. "Girls, man."

Puck nods knowingly. "Berry, right?"

"How'd you know?" Finn asks.

Puck shrugs. "Always is, isn't?"

Finn has to admit that that's true.

"Just try not to break her heart, this time around, alright, Hudson? I mean, I'm not one to be all 'we need her for the sake of the team' shit, but, well… we need Rachel for the sake of the team."

Finn smiles. "I know. Believe me, I know. She's gonna be the one who gets out of Lima. Right here is where she belongs. And I will do anything to be here with her, Puck." He swallows, looking his best friend in the eye. "I just really love her, you know? So much that I honestly can't imagine a future without her in it."

"Then go for it," Puck tells him. "Win her back, Finn. You have to show her in any possible way that you want this just as badly as she does. I mean, fuck everything else." He shrugs. "Just do what you gotta do."

Finn nods slowly. "I just… I can't lose her again."

Puck rolls his eyes. "Then what the hell are you sitting around here for? Go fucking _get her_."

Finn grins. "I'm working on it, man. It just… it has to be perfect."

Puck raises an eyebrow. "So you're enlisting Hummel's help?"

Finn doesn't answer.

Puck smirks. "I figured you would."

And then Finn grins, because maybe everything will turn out to be perfect after all. He's in New York, he's confiding in his best friend, and his brother's going to help him get his girl back. Everything's going his way (for once).

* * *

><p>xv.<p>

Finn watches Rachel and Kurt from the corner of his eye when they're in the lobby of the hotel. He sees Kurt hand Rachel the folded up piece of paper. He watches Rachel bite her lip as she reads the note. He notices when Kurt starts talking animatedly and he sure as hell notices the slow smile that creeps across Rachel's face as she nods. Mercedes joins the conversation then, and Kurt turns around to give Finn a thumbs up. He feels his heart thump in his chest.

Four hours later, he's standing on a bridge in Central Park in a suit, a fifteen dollar bouquet of flowers in his hand. He sees her appear at the edge of the bridge, and his pulse quickens. She looks breathtaking in her knee-length blue dress, her hair in a knot at the nape of her neck. She spots him and she bites her lip. He thinks he might pass out.

"Hi," he says when she reaches him.

"Hi," she replies with a giggle.

"These are for you," he says, holding out the flowers.

She takes them, inhaling their scent. "They're beautiful, Finn, thank you."

He smiles. "Not as beautiful as you."

She blushes, ducking her head.

"Listen," he says, "I'm really glad you agreed to meet me here. I mean, I wasn't sure if you would. But I'm glad you did. I really just want to prove to you that I am determined to make this work this time. I'm not giving up on you, or on us. And, I mean, no pressure or anything," he adds. "I get that you want to take thing slow, and that's cool, totally. I'll be here, for whenever you decide that you're ready."

She smiles shyly at him. "That's very chivalrous of you, Finn. And romantic."

He offers her his arm. "Shall we, Miss Berry?"

She takes it. "We shall, Mr. Hudson."

So they do.

* * *

><p>xvi.<p>

Without a doubt, this night is the best night of Finn's life. He takes Rachel to this little Italian restaurant and then to an off-Broadway show, and he loves how it's still so easy to talk to her, especially now that there's no weight of untold secrets and hidden insecurities. He's just Finn and she's just Rachel, and that's how they work best.

She leans on his shoulder as they walk back to the hotel, her arm looped through his as they walk down the rain-soaked street. It's perfect. _She's perfect_.

Finn stops, and Rachel looks up at him. "What?" she asks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he assures her. "Everything's perfect, Rach."

She smiles lightly.

He swallows, then takes her hands in his. "I love you, Rachel."

Her eyes widen, but he presses on. "It always comes down to me and you, and I've screwed things up time and time again and I know it's not enough, but I love you."

She stares at him some more, but she doesn't look too freaked out, so he leans in, waiting for the moment when finally, after all these months, he'll finally feel her lips pressed against his. It doesn't come.

She pushes him away, stuttering, "I – I can't."

Finn steps back. "Sorry, Rach, too much, too soon, I get it, I'm sorry—"

"No," she says quietly, also taking a step back. "I mean, I can't do this. With you. I can't, Finn. Not again." She turns and starts to walk away, hugging her arms around herself.

"Rachel," he calls after her, but she doesn't turn around. He sighs, then jogs to catch up with her. "Rachel," he repeats once he reaches her, spinning her around until she's facing him. He's surprised to see that tears are running down her cheeks.

"Please," she says, her voice cracking. "Please, Finn, just let me go."

"I can't," he says honestly.

She extracts her arm from his, taking a few steps down the street. "I need you to, Finn. Just… please."

She breaks into a run then, and Finn feels his heart break. He promised he wouldn't give up on her, though, and he won't. He can't.

He's going to make her see that they belong together. He knows she's scared, and he's going to do everything he can to make things okay.

* * *

><p>xvii.<p>

"What happened between you and Rachel?" Kurt hisses the next night as Finn sits down at the table they reserved for dinner, gesturing to the girl with the sad eyes sitting on the end. "When you texted me after dinner, everything was going swimmingly!"

"It was," Finn insists. He sighs. "She's scared, Kurt."

"Of what?" Kurt asks suspiciously.

"Me, I suppose. Her feelings. Us." He pauses, then adds, "I told her I loved her."

"Oh my _God_!" Kurt hisses. "Too much, too soon!"

"It's the truth, though," Finn says quietly. "And I'm not giving up on her, Kurt. I did once and I regretted it. I'm not gonna do it again."

Kurt sighs. "Well, you better convince her soon. We perform in two days, Finn. You better get yourselves together before then."

Finn nods. Rachel glances down at their end of the table before getting up. "Starting now," he mutters, standing up so quickly that his chair screeches against the wooden floor. He follows Rachel out into the hallway, jogging so he can catch up with her.

"Hey," he says, touching her on the arm lightly.

Her eyes widen. "Finn, please don't do this right now."

"I want to be with you, Rachel," he says. "And I know you want to be with me, too. And I get that you're scared. I'm scared, too. The last thing I want to do is screw this up again. But, if you'll let me have you again, I promise I'll _never _let you go. So, please, just give me, give _us_, a second chance."

She stares at him, lip trembling.

"Rach, I'll wait for you. I will. I'll wait forever. I just… please say something. Anything."

She looks away, muttering, "I need to go." He blinks, and then she's gone, the door of the restaurant swinging shut.

Somehow he's let Rachel Berry get away again.

How does this keep happening?

* * *

><p>xviii.<p>

Kurt suggests Finn give Rachel some time on her own. So does Puck, for that matter. And Finn figures that if Kurt and Puck actually agree on something, he should listen. So he doesn't seek Rachel out. He doesn't try to make her see sense. He doesn't try to talk to her at all.

They perform tomorrow, he and Rachel are supposed to do a duet, and they aren't speaking.

Things are going to go, to use Kurt's phrase, 'swimmingly.'

He's resigned himself to a less-than-awesome rest of the trip when he gets into the elevator to head back up to his hotel room after dinner. The doors are just about to close when a voice calls out, "Wait! Hold the elevator!"

He presses the hold button, and Rachel Berry skids into the elevator. He lets go of the button in surprise. The doors slide shut.

"Hi," he says slowly.

"Hi," she replies timidly.

Awkward silence falls. Finn realizes they still have thirteen floors to go. This could be the longest elevator trip of his life.

"You were right," she whispers.

He raises his eyebrows, but he doesn't interrupt. He doesn't want to jinx the fact that she's talking to him.

She stares at the floor instead of his face. "I'm scared, Finn. I'm scared of what I still feel for you, after all this time. I'm scared that you'll break me again. But… but most of all, I'm scared of how _happy _we could be. I mean, I can see it all with you, Finn: our wedding and our dog and God, our _kids_."

He smiles, because he's thought about all those things, too.

She takes in a shuddery breath. "And I'm scared because, above _everything_, even above being a star and being on Broadway, I want all of that with you. Somewhere along the way, that became my dream."

Finn takes a chance and closes the distance between them. He puts his finger beneath her chin and tilts her face up so she's looking at him. "I want all of that, too, Rach," he whispers. "But I don't want you to think for a second that you'd have to give any of that up to be with me. You can have it all, Rach. I'll _make sure _you have it all."

She kisses him then, throwing her arms around his neck exuberantly, and he freezes for a second before picking her up and reveling in the way she feels in his arms, the way her lips feel against his.

The elevator doors slide open, and they hear a wolf whistle. Rachel peels herself away from him, looking sheepishly at Puck and Lauren, but Finn doesn't set her down.

"Get you some, Hudson," Puck remarks, waggling his eyebrows.

Finn laughs, and so does Rachel.

"You can put me down now," she whispers into his ear.

He steps out of the elevator and sets her down gently, grabbing her hand instead. She smiles shyly at him.

"'Bout time," Lauren says drily. "I was getting tired of all the longing looks."

She and Puck get into the elevator then, and Finn smiles down at Rachel as the doors close.

"I've missed you," she says quietly.

He leans down and kisses her again. "I missed you, too," he breathes against her lips.

"Did you mean it, that we could have it all?" she asks breathlessly.

"'Course," he says, brushing her hair out of her face. "I'd do anything for you, Rachel. You should know that by now."

She bites her lip. "Let's never break up again, okay?"

He laughs, hugging her to him. He drops a kiss on the top of her hair. "Deal."

* * *

><p>xix.<p>

It's a familiar scene.

Finn glances over at Rachel, standing on the opposite side of the stage. She smiles at him, and he marvels at how she never fails to take his breath away. He crosses the stage to stand in front of her.

"Break a leg," he says.

This time she says it. "I love you."

He kisses her, because it's impossible not to, not when she's saying those words and looking that adorable. He can't control himself when it comes to her.

"You'll be great," he tells her once they break away.

She laughs. "We'll kill it, Finn. I know it."

Mr. Schuester pops in. "Hey, guys, one minute. Get ready."

Finn glances at Rachel. "No matter what happens, we'll go out there and do our best. And at the end of this, no matter the result, we have each other, alright?"

She smiles and nods. "That's more than enough for me."

He smiles, squeezing her hand one last time. He walks back to his place behind the curtain.

_"Ladies and gentleman_," the voice on the PA announces. _"From Lima, Ohio, McKinley High's New Directions_!"

The last thing Finn thinks before the curtain rises is that Rachel Berry is more than enough for him too. She always has been and she always will be.

* * *

><p><strong>Not only is the prom episode of Glee tomorrow, but so is my birthday. So I'd really appreciate it if you'd review. (:<strong>


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